Trance Read online

  When I dried off and changed into pajamas, I noticed there was a message on my phone. It was from him. ‘Sleep tight, gorgeous. I know I won’t be able to, thinking about you. Jas xx’

  I clutched the phone to my body. I knew I was still grinning, because my cheeks were aching. I read the message over and over before I finally fell asleep.

  I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes when I heard Lacey’s car pull up outside our house. I glanced over at the clock. It was after eight thirty. What was she doing here so early? I swung my feet onto the floor and pulled a robe on as I shuffled to the door before she could ring the bell.

  I needn’t have worried, my grandparents were already up. There was a cup of tea waiting for me on the table, and some toast. My grandfather was busy reading the newspaper not paying any attention to me while my grandmother washed dishes.

  I opened the door. Lacey burst in with two coffees. One for her and, presumably, one for me. I grabbed it, even though I wasn’t normally a coffee drinker. This morning I really wanted a shot of caffeine, and tea wasn’t going to cut it.

  “Breakfast, love’s?” My grandmother had come into the entrance with a pot in one hand and a jar of marmalade in the other.

  “No thanks, Mrs Tinks,” said Lacey. “I’m good.” She lifted her paper mug up to make her point before taking a sip.

  “Well come and sit with us, I’m sure you want to hear how Scarlett’s date went, just as much as we do.”

  Oh brother. As if I was going to let them know what actually happened.

  We sat at the table, as my grandmother fussed over us. “I can make pancakes if you like,” she said.

  “I’ll just have toast.” I grabbed a slice from the pile on the table and buttered it thickly.

  “Now where did he take you?” She sat down opposite me. Lacey was to my left. My grandfather was still oblivious to everything, engrossed in his newspaper, at the end of the table.

  “Um.”

  Lacey kicked me under the table and I saw her stifling a smirk on her face.

  I coughed. “Sorry.” I took a sip of coffee. It was strong, hot, but gave me the jolt I needed. “It was lovely. I learnt how to fly a trapeze.”

  “Very cool,” said Lacey.

  “Indeed,” said my grandmother. “And what about dinner? Please tell me he took you somewhere nice.”

  I bit my lip. “We had a picnic. It was such a lovely night, the weather was fine enough for it.”

  “A picnic. Well that does sound lovely. I’m so glad you had a good time. Are you going to see him again?”

  “Yes. Yes, I am.”

  “He took you on a picnic, huh,” said Lacey. “Doesn’t that sound romantic, Rose? Just the two of them, all alone under the stars. No one else around.” Her eyebrow shot up and that smirk she was trying to hide emblazoned on her face.

  My cheeks were burning as I took a bite of my toast. It was cold. “It was romantic, actually.”

  “It sounds it, dear. I’m glad about that. Most men these days don’t know how to treat a lady. He sounds like a true gentleman.” My grandmother looked wistfully at my grandfather. “Isn’t that good, Thomas?”

  My grandfather nodded, and turned the page of the newspaper. He was avoiding looking at anyone. Could he tell?

  “I wish I could have a romantic date like Scarlett did. She’s glowing this morning, isn’t she, Rose?” said Lacey.

  I glared at her.

  “Come on then, I want to hear more, and you need to get dressed.” She grabbed my arm and reefed me out of the chair. I nearly spilled the last of the coffee over myself.

  When we got to my bedroom she shut the door behind us. “You little slut. I can’t believe you slept with him on the first date. That’s something I would do, not you.”

  “It wasn’t like that.”

  “Hell it wasn’t. Look at you. I wasn’t kidding when I said you were glowing. Damn, I should have taken him myself.”

  I sat down on the bed.

  “How did it happen?” she asked. “You aren’t usually that forthcoming.”

  “I don’t know. Something just came over me and I couldn’t stop myself. I wanted him, I wanted it. Oh god, I am a slut.” I buried my face in my hands.

  “Don’t be stupid, of course you’re not. You just met someone you like. Finally. What was it like, after, you know, so long.”

  “It hasn’t been that long since I last did it.”

  “Two and a half years.”

  “You’ve kept a calendar?”

  “Yeah, like I’ve got nothing better to do with my time. Of course not. Are you okay about it though?”

  “Strangely, I am. I haven’t thought about Dean, at all. Well, not until you just bought it up. Thanks very much! Are you trying to ruin this for me?”

  “Not at all. Just checking in that you are fine. And you are. Which is absolutely brilliant, you deserve someone nice.”

  “He is so nice.”

  “Sounds it. Now you need to tell me every detail that you can remember. And I do mean everything.”

  I’d told Lacey everything, and once she was satisfied she left for work.

  When I was alone in my room, Dean Jeffries invaded my thoughts. I could feel myself closing off, pulling away. The walls building back up. Since Lacey had bought him up he’d began to creep back into my brain, his face appearing to ruin everything.

  I had to stop myself. I’d worked so hard to get rid of him, the memory of what I thought we’d had, and what he’d done to me. My life was returning, my heart was open to let love in again. Why did Lacey have to bring him up?

  I opened my laptop. Should I dare? Should I look? I closed the lid again. I couldn’t. What if it was still there? I pushed it aside. This was crazy. Jason wasn’t Dean. He wouldn’t do that to me, he was nothing like that scumbag.

  Dean had been seven years older than I was. I was twenty one when we met. He worked security. He made sure that no one got backstage or ran on while we were performing. He was good at his job. Before he came on board, there was one time that a young man did run on stage shouting something about the end of the world. That never happened again when Dean was hired.

  His competence and strength were the first things that attracted me to him. He came to all our shows, even if he was off duty. I figured he just liked entertainment as much as I did. And that was true, to an extent.

  But at twenty one, with limited experience with boys, and a strong older male, one that could protect me, was good looking and lavished me with attention. I’d watched The Bodyguard movie, like everyone else, I saw the attraction of someone to look after you.

  It had been great, at first. Or so I’d thought at the time. He’d awakened a part of me that I never knew existed. Showed me things about myself that I didn’t know I’d like.

  Until I found out the truth about him. About what he’d done.

  I couldn’t bring myself to say it. I couldn’t bring myself to think it. That I’d touched him. Let him touch me. After what he’d done.

  And when the media found out. I couldn’t go anywhere, do anything without seeing my name linked to his. Seeing what they said about me. It ruined everything. Everything. My therapist suggested the best way to deal with it was to shut out the world - ignore it. It would go away once they had something else to obsess over.

  It was the only thing that got me through then, and now.

  But Jason wasn’t like that. This was different. It would be different this time.

  Grabbing my running shorts, I changed quickly and pulled on my shoes. The fresh air would clear my thoughts, and get me back in the right frame of mind. If I was to see Jason this evening, I’d need to be free of the binds that had been holding me back all these years.

  Jason looked every bit as hot tonight as he did yesterday. He was early, and I rushed to pull my shoes on before he reached the door.

  “Bye,” I called to my grandparents. They didn’t need to meet him again, and I didn’t want to put him through any awkward co
nversations. It was bad enough before we’d had sex.

  Lacey hadn’t given me any outfits to try out tonight. She didn’t think I needed her help. She said I was doing just fine on my own. So I picked out a simple dress and made damn sure I had hot sexy underwear on. There was no way I was going home without being in Jason’s arms again.

  “Gorgeous as always,” he said, giving me a kiss on the cheek.

  “Is that all I get now? A kiss on the cheek? Lacey would have you dumped for a crime like that.”

  “I was afraid Thomas or Rose was watching through the window,” he said.

  “They probably are.” I kissed him on the lips. Just a quick kiss, enough to give him a taste of things to come, but not enough to give anyone who might be watching through the curtains, any knowledge that we had slept together already.

  “Where did you want to go tonight?” he asked.

  I pouted. “You haven’t planned anything?”

  “You’ve inspired me to try something new, so I making it up as I go. Having an adventure.”

  “Spontaneity. I like.”

  He opened the car door for me, which my grandmother would have approved of, and I slid into my side and he walked around and got into his.

  “A real restaurant tonight?” he asked.

  “Nothing private this time? I’m shocked. I thought you would’ve wanted me alone again, all to yourself.”

  He grinned as he started the engine. “There’s plenty of time for that. I’d rather go somewhere public.”

  “Kinky.”

  “To eat.”

  “Whatever turns you on.” I grinned. Where did all this flirting flying out of my mouth come from? I had been single for far too long.

  He pulled up outside a small restaurant. It was themed with Sombrero hats and piñata’s in blues and yellows. Clichéd but friendly looking.

  “They have excellent Pozole here. Real authentic.”

  He got out and we linked hands as we walked toward the front door.

  “Mister Green.” A chubby woman in her late forties opened the door for us, grabbing Jason’s cheeks and pinching them. “You cheeky, not telling us you have date. We could have prepare something special.”

  “Everything you serve is special, Gabriela.”

  The room was full of families. We were the only couple. She led us to a booth near the kitchen. She whisked away our menus before I had a chance to look at them, telling us that she would bring us the best they had. She cocked her finger in the air at a bartender and he poured two tequila’s into shot glasses and brought them over to our table, along with wedges of lemon.

  “Tequila?” I raised my eyebrow.

  “Nothing better,” said Jason. He licked the back of his hand and poured salt onto it, licked the salt, downed the shot in one gulp, and then bit into the wedge of lemon. His face contorted into a grimace as he wiped the taste of the lemon away from his lips.

  “I must have missed the invitation to the frat party.” I lifted the tiny glass in front of me, staring at the clear liquid. “Are you serious?”

  “Try it.”

  I placed the glass back down onto the table. “I might have a juice instead.”

  “It’s only one. Live a little. Imagine you’re in Mexico.”

  I looked around at the families. A woman at the next table was feeding her baby mush from a kiddy bowl. “I’m not sure this is the time and place for shots.”

  “Suit yourself.” He took my glass, repeated the salt routine and downed my tequila with the lemon chaser.

  I stared at him with disbelief. Was this the same person that I was on the date with last night? The same Mr Nice Guy that I could finally see myself falling for? Where was that Jason? Who on earth was the person sitting opposite me now?

  TWELVE

  Jason was right about one thing - the food at the restaurant was superb. Our host, Gabriela, bought out tiny bowls of all manner of dishes - from enchilada’s to corn cakes, Shrimp ceviche to Spanish rice. All perfect portions with flavors to die for. The whole restaurant was scented with warm delicious spices.

  I was thankful I wore a dress, as I could feel my stomach expanding with every mouthful. Even when I was overstuffed, another bowl would come to our table that I absolutely had to sample. Each mouthful more wonderful than the next. If I ate like this all the time, I’d never fit into any of my clothes.

  Jason had barely touched his meal. He’d pick and choose from the bowls that were delivered, but mostly he just talked. He did, however, order another drink - another shot of tequila. Was he not worried that he’d driven here, and from the amount he’d downed, probably not likely to be able to drive home?

  I didn’t want to get into a car with someone who had been drinking. Hell, I didn’t want to be on a date with someone who was drunk. I looked at his eyes, there were still clear (and still gorgeously bright blue).

  I struggled with what I should do. Leave? Stay? I didn’t want to be on a date with someone whose purpose was to get drunk. It showed me how little I knew about Jason Green after all. I thought back to every other time I’d been with him. Apart from the first time we met in the mirror maze, he’d been drinking every other time.

  Well, if he thought he was driving me home tonight, he’d be sadly mistaken. That didn’t mean I was going to waste all this delightful food though.

  To his credit, Jason was still coherent and charming. If you hadn’t seen him take three shots, you’d have thought he was as sober as I was. It was that fact that was scaring me more than anything else, and I started to doubt who the real Jason Green was. Had he been himself last night? Just who had I slept with?

  The bill came and he paid it with a credit card.

  “Told you the food here rocks,” he said.

  “Well, you were right about that.”

  “Where to next?” He reached over and grabbed my hand. “Somewhere private sounds good about now.” His finger caressed the back of my wrist sending tiny tingling goose bumps up my arm. My body was betraying me. My skin craved his touch, but I couldn’t.

  “I might catch a cab home.” I pulled my hand away and opened my purse pulling out my phone. “You should probably catch one too.”

  He looked shocked. “What’s wrong? I thought you were having a good time. Didn’t you like the food here?”

  “Yes, the food was wonderful, just like you said it would be.”

  “Then what is it?”

  “You really have no idea why I would be annoyed?”

  “Here we go again.” He rolled his eyes at me.

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “The hot and cold routine. You want me, you don’t want me, you want me. For fuck’s sake, Scarlett, make up your mind.”

  I felt like I’d been slapped. I couldn’t say anything. My mouth hung open. I grabbed my purse and walked out as fast as I could. I didn’t look back, I just walked out.

  I was shaking. When I was far enough away that he couldn’t seem me, I pulled out my phone and dialed. “Lacey, come and pick me up. Right away.”

  I shrank back against the terracotta brick wall of the building. The brick was smooth, worn over years of rain and sun beating the side of it. I pressed further into the shadows away from view. No streetlight reached me here.

  Jason called my name, searching for me up and down the road to see which direction I’d gone. He couldn’t see me here. So close, yet for all he knew, miles away.

  “Scarlett? Scarlett, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean what I said.”

  Then why did you say it? I didn’t move. Lacey would be here soon. She’d be here, and I’d be able to get away from him. I didn’t need someone in my life with a drinking problem.

  My phone buzzed. I’d put it on silence, but the vibrations hit something in my purse that caused a rattling sound. I looked down at the message he’d sent. ‘Please call me. I need to know you are safe. This is a dangerous neighborhood.’ Safe. Ha! Safe from another man ruining my life. I shook my head. It made sense, aft
er Dean, but Jason had always been nice to me. Perfect even. Ironically, I knew that no one was perfect, not even me. But still, I didn’t want to see him. Not if he drank every time we were together.

  I looked up. He’d disappeared. Back in the restaurant probably, or maybe his car. I hoped he’d be safe as he drove. Above all else, I wanted him to be safe still, from hurting himself or anyone else.

  I stepped further out onto the path, trying to see where he had gone. His car was still in the parking lot. There was no sign of him there. I hoped he’d taken my advice and went to ring a cab, after all.

  A shuffling sound to my left made me jump. A man of about thirty appeared from nowhere. He looked as surprised to see me as I was to see him.

  “Sorry Miss.”

  “That’s alright.” I stepped back to let him pass. He didn’t move.

  “Whatcha doin’ here all alone?”

  “Just waiting for my friend to pick me up. She’ll be here any minute.” I clutched my bag to me tightly, wondering if it would be rude if I reached inside and grabbed my phone again. Just act natural, I told myself.

  “Want me to wait with you? You shouldn’t be out here alone.”

  “I’m fine, thank you.”

  “Suit yourself.” He walked a few steps passed me. I didn’t even realize I had been holding my breath, but once he had begun to walk away, my chest heaved in relief. I reached down to grab my phone after all. Where was Lacey?

  The man doubled back. He placed his hand on the wall in front of me. “You know, I might wait with you after all.”

  “No thanks. You be on your way.”

  “Nah. I’m gonna stay.”

  “Fine, then I must get going myself.” I stepped away from the building and began to walk back to the restaurant.

  He grabbed my wrist, pulling me back to him, and pushing me against the wall. It didn’t feel smooth anymore. It felt rough, hard.

  His face was close to mine, close enough that I could smell the alcohol lingering in a cloud around him. His eyes were glazed, red, unfocused. Stubble clung to his cheeks. He looked older this close, and stronger.

  “How ‘bout a little kiss?”